Todays dribble

To fill you all in on my abscence of late, it has been as my baby has been sick the poor little mite.
Man has it been a ride for these past few weeks. I feel like a YoYo and not the biscuit type! The poor boy has not been well, what started out as the flu, became a viral infection which also brought on a stomach infection, and then a reaction to one of the medications and 3 medication changes, ever time he seemed to be like he was well onto the way of getting better, temp would spike, would start being sick again and coughing and choking, he's lost quite a few kilo's over it and poor lil man is only a small boy as it is! so fingers crossed after a couple good days, and the first day where he's actually eaten 3 - albeit small, but 3 none the less - meals, it should be up hill fro here. Fingers crossed!! I so hope so! It is so horrible seeing our poor kids sick, we are helpless, and yet would give anything to make them better!

I finally booked our return ticket today.... we are going home thursday night. I am dreading it. I do not want to leave. I do not want my family apart for another day! I am not looking forward to 12 hours on a bus with a recovering sick 5 year old! A couple wise peeps told me to look at it as an adventure, i am trying to girls I am trying! I must admit we go thru some nice place, Nowra, Batemans Bay, Lakes Entrance, And I do love the sight coming into merimbula at night! But But But!.... I thought I would give a bus trip a go, as it leaves nearby and arrives in town, where as to fly, means going into the city to the airport, then catching a bus and train from melb airport to get home = a lot of stuffing around. So we will see how this adventure turns out!! DH is telling me I have to be strong, but I feel so weak. It is only 8 weeks until we see each other again, when we go on holidays to relax (and make babies!) for our anniversary to Merimbula. Bit I dont wanna have to wait! cant we just go now!
But in all seriousness, im totally on the verge of losing it, absolutely hate the thought of leaving here this week, i dont wanna do it, it seriously hurts and makes me ache to even think that im having to, wish i could ignore it, im trying to, refusing to pack so that then i wont have to go.. hate that ian will be here still and our family will be apart again, hate that the boy is getting upset at the thought of it and that im going to have to tear him away from his daddy... hate that im going to have to go home and still look after him while he's and do it on my own... hate that a half of me will be missing... we;ve spent almost a month togethor and its not enough!! its only just got to feeling RIGHT again. I hate the thought of how cold my bed will be at night cos i wont have him lying next to me. will hate not being able to have a late night cuppa with him when he gets home from work. I miss the LITTLE things, those things we take for granted that Ive only just got back, but now have to let go again. I want my family back togethor, I want my other half!

Okay stopping my tanty now, gotta leave it at that cos im turning into a blubbering mess! I dont think ill stop crying between now and when we leave... hell i think ill end up spending the entire 12 hour bus trip blubbering.... those poor passengers on board eh!!.....